A busy few months

It’s been a while since I’ve updated this and it’s not really for a lack of interest. These past few months have been incredibly busy, with numerous races, training trips and major life changes, all of which have had a large impact on my running. This isn’t going to be a massively long post, nothing in too much detail and hopefully nothing too boring, it isn’t really the time or place. It’s more of an update on what’s been happening, where I’m at, and the direction things are heading.

Since my last post about the Adelaide 3 Days, a lot has happened, but I’ll try and pick up where I left off. That weekend for me was full of frustrations, primarily caused by a persistent injury that I’d developed from overdoing it and overreaching, Plantar Fasciitis. Sparked by a track race in January, it took a long and arduous effort to work my way through this one, with close to a 3 month lay off from running. I tried everything I could find. Icing, rolling, massaging, orthotics, stretching, strength exercises, different shoes, softer ground, compression, pharmaceuticals, taping and realistically, non of these were the quick fix I wanted. I was largely glued to an exercise bike on the Key’s balcony or tethered to the side of their neighbours pool, relentlessly grinding out hour after hour of cross training in the hopes that this would maintain some semblance of fitness. I do also have to say a massive thank you to everyone who helped me out through this, I can be an arse when I’m injured, I know, but everyone was incredibly supportive. Not being able to run, for me, is torture. Over the last year’s, running has developed in to not just something I enjoy, but something a bit deeper, something that gives me a purpose and a sense of identity. This may be a little dangerous, and lead to overindulgence and stretching myself a little thin at times, but this is something to work on over time. It was annoying to miss races, especially the Melbourne Uni 5000 with the guys, but by the time the end of March rolled around I was just getting back on my feet and relishing the chance to get home and stuck in to some races.

Me and Joe at Milford Sounds (NZ)

I can’t move past leaving Australia without attempting to summarise what a fantastic opportunity and experience it was. Joe and I are incredibly grateful to the Orienteering Victoria, and wider Australian Orienteering community, for making us feel so welcome and for giving us the opportunity to be out there doing something that we love. The people we met are fantastic, a special thank you has to go out to the Jaffe’s, Louw’s, Dalheim’s and Key’s for everything they did for us, going above and beyond anything we could have expected and making us feel at home as far away as we could be from it. We had some amazing opportunities, opportunities we probably would never have gotten had we not decided to pursue this venture and I think we both left with a love for that wonderful country. I’d also like to thank Warren and Tash especially for agreeing to host me out there, their generosity and support during my time with them was unbelievable and I feel privileged to have been allowed to be a part of their family life for a short while.

The Key's (and an excited Fredo!)

Arriving back from Australia, for myself was both extremely busy and conflicting. Whilst it was great to get home and see my family and Mary, it was also an extremely sad time. A few days before I flew home, I found out that my grandmother had passed away after a freak and sudden illness. She had been ill for a little over a week and being the amazing and strong woman that she was, I never thought it was really anything more serious than a bit of a turn. On the morning mum told me over the phone, I felt like my world had been turned upside down. I didn’t know what to think and was stunned and numb, unable to comprehend. Being away with the Dalheim’s and Joe at Arapiles, they were amazingly understanding and caring, but I honestly felt broken. My grandmother had always, throughout my life and in every endeavour, been my staunchest supporter, be it in school, football, cross country, orienteering, or anything else, she was always there with words of encouragement. Even now I feel as though I don’t believe it, like it’s all some cruel joke and any second she’ll call me or walk through the door. I never got to say goodbye and therefore by writing this I hope that in some small way it is a way of showing what she meant to me. It’s an oft used expression, but she genuinely was a rock. One of the most dependable and kind people I have had the privilege of knowing. I couldn’t wait to tell her everything I had been doing, show her the pictures of the amazing places and stories of my adventures, I had even resisted sending her some pictures to wait to show her in person, but I’ll now never get the chance. For me, this is the most painful part. Losing the chance to spend time and talk with her, which I now feel as though I took for granted and should have cherished those times more. She was and still remains, a huge source of inspiration and I am determined to try and make her proud of whatever I now do, trying to channel the anger and sadness that I am feeling. When I began writing, I didn’t know I was going to divulge all of this, but I think I needed to. Many people won’t understand how much of an impact this had on me, but that’s ok. I am proud to have called her my grandmother and hope that I can continue to try and do as well as I can for her.

Arriving back, I was also to start a new job at the Youth Hostel in Keswick…the morning after I landed. After a groggy drive up to Borrowdale for 3 days of training, it was then back home to sort my things before moving up here properly. It still feels surreal to be able to live, work and train in a place I’ve almost fantasised about for a large part of my life. I’m looking forward to racing and training as much as possible during my time here, as much as work and racing will allow. But the weeks after I landed, and really until now have been manic and exhausting. The weekend after I arrived was my grandma’s funeral, following that was the JK, then TioMila, then the British Championships, finishing up with the UK Inter-counties fell champs after that. These races, coupled with working, training, other races, trying to get back fit and the vast amount of travelling between each meant that looking back, I can see just how thinly spread I was. I knew this was to be the case, therefore I am not trying to make excuses for my performances, but I think on some subconscious level I was never really going to be at the races this year. As I said at the start, I won’t go in to too much detail but each weekend, generally can be summed up by the following. Generally, I had accepted to myself that I wasn’t fit enough due to only just getting back running and not racing. This in itself was self-defeating and led to perhaps a lack of aggression to really go after races. My technique felt a little rusty, but there were definitely aspects which shone through from my time in Aus, and I felt more confident in my technique. A focus on not being so fit led to trying to overrun everything, costly mistakes in the circles then followed. Everything brought together ultimately also led to a loss of mojo though really. I was doing too much, trying to cram everything in and making each race my WOC final, when really, I should have just been enjoying it. Inter-counties went better, primarily because I was more relaxed and happier to see old faces and get back in the hills, it felt like a break!

Since last summer, I have done little but orienteer for a year, so I think it was a little inevitable that there would be some burnout as a result of this. I don’t ever like admitting these sorts of things to myself, but the warning signs were there and in future I need to be significantly better at allowing myself to take notice of these. The first couple of years of senior are extremely tough. Whilst for many it is a chance to enjoy a more relaxed approach, for me this year I felt I had a point to prove and overdid myself in trying to do so. I don’t know why or where this came from but there is plenty of time to develop into a strong senior in the next couple of years and I felt as though I tried to rush this. I think this will be my main take-away from this season, trying to enjoy the process more and focus less on the results, which should follow naturally from racing better.

A busy period of racing

Unfortunately, my domestic performances this Spring were less than what I had expected of myself, however this has given me some time to re-evaluate what I want to target this year. The orienteering World Cup rounds later in the year continue to be a goal and I have some fun races such as ASOM, Jukola and the Scottish 6 Days to look forward to try and produce some better results. It is also my last year as an U23 on the fells, so the English Fell Champs have emerged as something of a more natural goal, especially given my location in the Lakes.

Since this manic and stressful period, both physically and emotionally, I have definitely turned a corner in terms of both running and my general well-being. It’s hard to admit it when things aren’t really clicking but a bit of time away from serious competition and the confines of competitive sport has done a world of good. I’m beginning to find some good shape physically again now, have a number of fun and challenging races lined up in the coming months, I’m really excited to have joined IFK Lidingö and also feel incredibly lucky and grateful to be supported by Norman Walsh too! So hopefully the summer will be filled with fun races, plenty of hills and some more positive results. It’s been good to get all of this out and provide a bit of an update of where I’m at, posts may not be massively scheduled but check back next time to see what’s been going on!

Hopefully looking forward to a happier time in the coming months.